Diva Daze 12

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clip art   wired ladyOk today started out just like any other a diva day, perfect!!! I went to a job interview, got it. Went and had lunch with my daughter, Wendy’s, yum!!!!

Then…….all hell broke loose!!!

Everyone has a bucket list, right? Well I have 2. Things I want to do before I die and things I DON’T want to happen but would kinda be cool if they did!

Well I am now able to mark 1 off my list number 2. Let me start from the beginning. My husband decided that he needed to try to catch the feral cats we have in the back yard so that we can let our new little baby ( we now own a tea cup Chorky, 2 pounds of nothing ) out in the back yard to use the facilities without being drug off like dinner for one.

So, Lets set a trap. So in the morning we have a catch, not quiet the catch we thought as it has a stripe, as in skunk OMD!!!! So he leaves for work, leaving the poor animal in the trap ( not a hurting trap , just one that closes when they enter to eat the food) so my daughter decides she is going to set it free. I watch her for about 20 minutes and I say I can’t let her do this by herself. So I go out , not sure what the hell to do and we start messing with the trap. So after about 20 more minutes we almost have this animal free to do as it pleases and I made the ultimate mistake. I stepped in his line of vision. I looked up and saw a red hole and he sprayed the shit out of me and I ran away screaming like I just got shot from a shot gun. We were laughing so hard we could hardly stand up, it was hilarious

I ran to the shower and had my daughter make me tomato anything to wash with to get the smell off me, and I showered for the next 20 minutes. Pretty sure it’s all off I get out. The house smells like crap and we can’t smell anything but skunk butt. So I get the great idea to put Ben gay under my nose to take the smell away. Remember Ben gay is a muscle pain reliever. So now I can’t feel my nose and it itches like crazy. My clothes are ruined and my house smell like crap and we still have an animal in the trap.

Needless to say my hubby does not believe that I got sprayed as he does not believe that we would even attempt to let the thing go. We were just trying to be nice, Diva Say what!!!!!! Never again!!! Hell I ruined a $100 pair of jeans, shit!!!!!

Diva Daze 9

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cartoon diva workingWell hello to my fellow Divas.   The last few days I have been rather bored and looking for an outlet for my energy (  ABSOLUTELY  NO PUN INTENDED, you will see once you have read my story) or a new hobby.  You know something to do, something to look forward to, like shopping!!!

So I was doing my research on line and hit on yoga.   Well what I found surprised the heck out of me.    First of all YOGA is defined as a way to attain your inner peace through movements and peaceful inner thinking.   Then I read through a few more sites, really wanting to try this.  THEN I read THE story.  Yoga could cause some women to VART!!!!    WHAT!!!

After laughing for about 20 minutes I decided to try to make my way through this story.  I have never laughed so hard at a story that actually was trying to be serious.   All I could think about was taking a class so that I could see what really goes on and maybe on the off chance be able to use my favorite line  EVER from Brides Maids .

Can you see an entire room full of Yoganites all doing their down ward dog ( whatever) and all the sudden I do this huge VART and I get to say ”  I want to apologize, I am not even confidant of which end that came out of”.   Man that would make my entire year!!!!!    Needless to say I decided to pass on yoga after a day of contemplating it.   They would just kick me out anyway, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing, I would never attain my level of spiritual  calmness.

So onward to find another outlet for my energy.   Any of you awesome divas have a suggestion ( that doesn’t  involve accidental body noises) please let me know…….

Have an awesome Daze!!!!