Diva Daze 10

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Ok Divas, just letting you know that I have been in a funk, and I think it has caused brain farts ( You know when thoughts come into your head and then poof they are gone, brain farts!!). Needless to say I have been walking around the house moping and feeling sorry for myself all because I found a grey hair, DOWN THERE!!!!!

What the F do you do with that? They are just like little cock roaches, you may only see one but you know all their little friends are in there hiding also!! So this bring me to one of the things on my bucket list: get a brazillian!! So I have read all the horror stories ( I so don’t want to have to go to the ER and tell them this story) and they sure the heck have scared me out of doing this for the last 25 years. I SO would be that 1 in a million person that the really horrible thing would happen to.

I know you are saying just shave yourself. Ok this only works if you can see and reach the area you are working on. I have dreams where I am looking all cute and wearing a thong and then turn around and I have a goatee coming out the back of my undies, so NOT attractive!!!

First things first though, who do I want to do this, how does one go about finding the right person to rip the hair off their private parts? So I need some advice, or just good stories….

More later but for now, Have a Good Daze…………

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Diva Daze 9

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cartoon diva workingWell hello to my fellow Divas.   The last few days I have been rather bored and looking for an outlet for my energy (  ABSOLUTELY  NO PUN INTENDED, you will see once you have read my story) or a new hobby.  You know something to do, something to look forward to, like shopping!!!

So I was doing my research on line and hit on yoga.   Well what I found surprised the heck out of me.    First of all YOGA is defined as a way to attain your inner peace through movements and peaceful inner thinking.   Then I read through a few more sites, really wanting to try this.  THEN I read THE story.  Yoga could cause some women to VART!!!!    WHAT!!!

After laughing for about 20 minutes I decided to try to make my way through this story.  I have never laughed so hard at a story that actually was trying to be serious.   All I could think about was taking a class so that I could see what really goes on and maybe on the off chance be able to use my favorite line  EVER from Brides Maids .

Can you see an entire room full of Yoganites all doing their down ward dog ( whatever) and all the sudden I do this huge VART and I get to say ”  I want to apologize, I am not even confidant of which end that came out of”.   Man that would make my entire year!!!!!    Needless to say I decided to pass on yoga after a day of contemplating it.   They would just kick me out anyway, I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing, I would never attain my level of spiritual  calmness.

So onward to find another outlet for my energy.   Any of you awesome divas have a suggestion ( that doesn’t  involve accidental body noises) please let me know…….

Have an awesome Daze!!!!

Diva Daze 8

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Saturdaze thoughts……….

As I was sitting here drinking my morning coffee, I was just reminiscing  about things that have happened in my life and how the rules seem to change as you get older………..

* Never try to cut costs and hang your own chandelier, NO Matter  how much HGTV you watch.  And if you do make sure you are not on a swivel chair and all furniture is out of the room!!!

* Never trust a fart after 40. ( that goes back to having an extra set of clothes in your car emergency kit! )

* Never turn your back on a coop full of chickens.   Man them suckers are fast, and quiet!!

* after tanning you should have them turn on more light for you to get dressed.  Then you wouldn’t wonder why your bra shrunk 2 sizes while you were in there just to find out you were trying to put your underwear on over your head.   ( Now that was a day I was proud of! ).

That’s enough for now, tune  in next Saturday for more Saturdaze thoughts, Have a good Daze………..

Diva Daze 7

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Well in light of what happened this weekend ( see Diva Daze 6) I have decided to add to the emergency kit in the trunk of my car.  Yep, you guessed it, shoes!!!   I went through my closet, and chose the 2 pair of shoes I wear the least and that would go with anything in such an emergency.
Wrapped them up and put them right beside my make up bag, blow dryer, curling iron and an extra set of clothing ( don’t even get me started on that story, another day).

In the process of doing this good deed I have come across many Diva finds.   I would like to share them with you  in the off chance you may need to have a road side emergency kit also.  Please go to the “Find of the Daze” page and start shopping!!!   clip art   wired lady

Diva Daze 6

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clip art  curlers friendsOk, can I get an OMG!!!!

Shoes!!!    Everyone Loves shoes.      Most times us Divas find the shoes first and then pick out the outfit, they complete the look!!!

So this weekend when my better half asked me to go out for him to “pick up a few things”, I of course said yes.  One hour later after my shower and picking out the best outfit for the day, doing my nails, just a little pedi and changing my purse to match the outfit( don’t even act like we don’t all do that), I was ready to go.   I jumped in the car, drove 20 minutes down the road, pulled into the lot and then jumped out of the car.    Well, something just did not feel right, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and then I looked down.   OMG!!!    I had my slippers on, WTH!!!!!    when did this happen, why didn’t my hubby say something!!! (pay backs are a  bitch there, let me tell you!!)

How could I have made it out of the house without changing my shoes?   I may have been a little distracted, I was going shopping you know.   How often does your hubby actually ask you to  GO shopping?   I was excited at the thought that since he asked me to go I could pass off the few extra items that got into the cart some how.   So here I was looking all cool, with my slippers on.   Wow, I almost turned around and came back , I was a little ticked off because the outfit I picked needed at least a 2inch wedge to pull it off, oh well, another day!!!  But then the Diva in me came out and decided that I was just going to go in, get his items as fast as possible and just act like nothing at all was wrong.   Everything went fine, I by -passed all the good looking guys, held my head up high while passing all others Divas, (just acted like I was trying to start a new fad!!)  and made it out in 10 minutes flat.

I will say that it was the shortest amount of time I have ever spent shopping and my hubby got a huge Laugh of the Day over that one!    Oh well, all in the Daze of the Diva!!!!

Diva Daze 5

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clip art   work oputI was thinking tody of all the avenues I have traveled to get where I want to be, they were ALL wrong turns!!!!

So i get up every day with good intentions, thinking ” Today I will eat right and work out”.   I  put on my super Diva work out suit ( oh come on girls you know what I mean) and walk around the house thinking any minute I will leave to go subject myself to pulling my underwear out of my ass while running at 2.1mph on a treadmill.   Wouldn’t want to work out too hard, I might get sweat stains on my new super Diva work out suit. So I  Show up for 30minutes, put in my time, take my ear buds out ( I have to get my Young And The Restless fix when i can ) Put them in my work out bag and call it a day.

So after many months of this, and not getting any results, DUH!! I was rummaging around my DVDs to see if I had an at home work out that I could try.   Well, boy did I!!!
You know how they all have the introductory DVD , you know the one that shows you the moves?   I actually watched it this time.   I thought this is going to be SO easy and I won’t even have to worry about pulling my underwear out of my ass in front of anyone.

So I put in the first 30 minute workout.     The moves seemed simple enough, at first.   Two minutes later I was huffing and puffing, sucking down the H2O, and wiping the sweat out of my eyes like there was no tomorrow.  I kept thinking it was the first DVD in the series she will make it easier soon.   Nope, my new little work out Diva was putting me through the ringer.    I wanted to quit, I really, really wanted to quit, but she just kept making it seem like she was having so much fun.

Finally it was over, that was the longest 30 minutes of my life, but  i did it.   I felt really good and I was extremely soaked.    I was so wet that my clothing couldn’t soak up any more and it was running out the bottom of my pants into my shoes, yuck!!!!!     So I jumped in the shower and peeled the clothes from my body, never had a shower felt better or  more deserved.

So here it is, week 3 of my work outs and I love every one.   I can see and feel the changes in my body everyday, about damn time.    I still sweat just as bad but no more super Diva suits!  Now I wear shorts and a wife beater, easier to get off when you are soaking wet.  Really ladies.  NO exaggerating on this!!!

Here is the link for this awesome workout if any of you Divas out there want to try it, or if you just like to sweat.     Try it and then let me know how it works for you.   Have a good Daze……..

http://www.bodyFX.com     JNL Fusion.   Make sure to get the rope!!

Diva Daze 4

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Quote ” I am glad that I have a wife I love”

Well now, that just about makes me wanna cry.  I am so glad that I have a man who loves me so fiercly.   He only wants the best for me and can’t understand why I don’t want that for myself.     What?    Of course I do.  Don’t I?

You see I am a little over weight and have been my entire adult life.   My inner Diva keeps trying to come out but she always seems to fall short of achieving  her goals.

I have fought and fought my way through my food process for years.  I Have tried every pill known to man (and some known to animals, just kidding) and every fad diet that has come down the line.   Of course everything worked while I was doing it.  But see that’s the catch, you have to keep doing it.

I have decided to go back to the beginning, where all this food eating, exercising crap started for me.   I was a VERY fit teenager , active and happy
I do remember I had a very big appetite and never once did I think I would not be able to keep that wonderful habit all through my adult life.

So, I am yet again trying something off the wall to achieve my goals.   I am going back to meet my younger self on a weekly basis.   We are working through all my concerns one by one, peeling back the layers to help one cope with the other.    So far I am loving it.   I have told my younger self “jealousy gets you NO where”( and is not very attractive either).  I have tackled my fear of following through and being afraid to try new things and get out there and enjoy life.   I found my “little bratty self”, smacked her around some and then had a long talk and gave her a time out.

What I am doing is hypnosis.  No not your put me under and change my mind hypnosis.   More of the the relax me and take me back in time.  Make me feel my emotions and experiences from the past to shed the healing light on why I am the way I am.  You can’t fix the why until you find the when you became how you are.

It’s all very simple.  It’s not a cure, just a step on a ladder to help you climb out of your gloom to become your best self ever.   I am working out now and eating better, remembering that life is short and time does not stop to wait until you are ready.   My inner Diva says its time to shine again, I so love shiny things.

Have a good Daze……….

Diva Daze 3

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Ok so yesterday was the 4th of July, big bang boom!!!     As a kid this was one of my most favorite days of the year.    The day you get to play with matches!!!  Oh yeah, back in the good old days you were able to leave your kids outside, unattended all day if need be.   My mom NEEDED it to be!!     I am the last of many and there is a mighty gap from the oldest to the youngest, and YES it does make a difference.   The difference was I was able to get away with everything!!

They got lucky, though, as I was a tom boy NOT a girly girl.   So lets just say my interest in boys was on a more dangerous level.   You know stuff like who can ride their bike the fastest off a cliff, who can dodge rocks the longest, and the most important one ( to me), who can get the most fireworks for the 4th of July.

I always had the ever dangerous Snakes, Sparklers and poppers.   But one year , I think I was about 10, I was allowed to get the real thing, FIRECRACKERS!!!    Now I know what all you people are saying , “yea but they were harmless”.   The ones we had in 1975 were not harmless, they were the real finger taking deal!!!    They were like Gold to me.   I would get a pack of 50 but only do 25 so that I could save some for special sneaky moments all through the year.   Those moments were SO worth the “Go to your room, and don’t come out until I say you can”    As the years went on I continued my fascination with the firecracker until I got a little cocky and almost blew my finger off ( well not really, it was a little black at the tip) and decided that day that bottle rockets were safer!  Yep those were a lot safer, as long as you aim them correctly ( yea  right I was 12) and make sure your parents car windows are up!!    So, long story short this was my last year of unsupervised match usage.

Now after all these years I still love fireworks, just not doing them myself.    The bigger boom the better!

Have a good Daze …………..

Diva Daze 2

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Ok All you Stay At Home divas, this one is for you!

Any one else have a complaining husband?  I have one that comes home most nights and states ” what did you do all day!”   After I count to ten, I calmly list off  all the wifely duties I did that day.    Now in my head I’m thinking he should be able to SEE what I have been doing all day and say something more like ” wow the house looks awesome”, or” this dinner is perfect, you sure must have spent a long time shopping and preparing this meal”.  I don’t ask him what he does all day, I see the money every 2 weeks I know he’s working.

So, I made a decision, maybe a bad one, that if he asked me again, the next day I was going to show him what I did do all day.

SO……..
I Didn’t get him his morning coffee AND water, after I didn’t wake him up, whoops!   Yea, this is SO what I do every morning!!!!!
I unmade all the beds
Didn’t do the laundry
Left all the breakfast dishes in the sink
Didn’t let the dog out ( not my brightest idea)
Didn’t make dinner
Didn’t answer any of his 100 texts or calls
Didn’t pick up items on his “wifey do list”
Didn’t shave my legs ( now this one kinda hurt me not him)
Didn’t work out ( ok, see comment above!!!)
Ect, ect………………………….

Ok I think everyone’s got the gist.   I did absolutely nothing, I sat around and ate BON BONS!!!!    I will tell ya, it is not as fun as it sounds!
I know you are all thinking I just made double the work for myself and you would be right.    This  particular idea will not be put into action again any time soon but my husband will know what I didn’t do all day!!

So, 8.5 hours later my husband came home took one look at the sad state of the house, calmly counted to ten and took out his wallet and handed me some cash.    I quickly picked up the phone called my girls and set up my day of pampering, hair ( cut AND color, of course), mani and pedi!!!

Have a good Daze……….

Diva Daze 1

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While I was working out , and sweating my ass off, I started to think about all the other women out there

just like me.   Woman who are working hard to keep up with the Jones’s and NOT doing a very good job!!

What the heck does that mean anyway, and who are the Jones’s?   Why do we care?   Well first of all we care because we love

to feel pretty and want others to see us that way.   In the DAZE to come I will hopefully be able to put a funny spin on my NOT so

Diva life and help others connect with their inner self so that we all can have a little piece of the Diva pie.

So stay tuned in and keep coming back you never know what difference the Daze of the Diva can make…………….